What’s missing from this scene? You might say all sorts of things, like lush green grass, spring flowers, or lions – and you’d be right. But something else is missing that’s much more important. And it’s good that it's missing.
‘… ladies … might (or might not) like to know that a few new blooms are proliferating in the game reserves and could very likely become the “national flowers” of our parks. One is the Kleenex Dampus, and the other is the Twinsaver Piddli.
‘They are commonly found at view sites, rest areas and picnic spots without ablution facilities. Look behind bushes, small trees and ant heaps, and there they are. They appear near a small damp area on the ground, and even attach themselves to small acacia bush thorns. Similar to everlastings, they bloom for several months, and then dry out to become an unsightly stringy mess …
‘On a bush walk or wilderness trail, once used, the K. Dampus or T. Piddli should be set alight. Though on second thought, if you’re dumb enough to throw a tissue into the bush, you would be dumb enough to set the whole park alight. Better can that idea (excuse the pun). Here’s a nice concept for all the outdoor and camping shops – invent a little receptacle for this new alien curse. You’ll make yourselves a quick buck – and save the game parks from this new invasive species.’
Well, Paul, as a girl who has marked her territory in game parks and nature reserves around the country, perhaps I should patent my own invention.
It’s called a plastic baggie. It goes with me everywhere in the bush, on much the same principle as dog-owners are supposed to walk their dogs in city parks with a handy baggie tied to the dog’s collar.
Pop the used tissue into the baggie –or multiple used tissues if you’re out for a really long time – and simply deposit the whole thing in the waste bin when you get back to camp. (If you’re a green queen, you could flush the paper and wash the baggie so it can be used again.)
It’s so darn easy I don’t know why it hasn’t caught on. Don’t tell me it’s because ladies can’t plan ahead and get ‘caught out’. If they can plan to have a tissue with them, they can plan to have a baggie to put it in. Nuff said.
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